Entry tags:

movies, tv

Afraid of the Bathroom
spent most of this weekend being afraid of my bathroom. Why? Because there was a freaking scary-ass bug hiding out in there!! I walked in there on Saturday afternoon and there it was, sitting on my shower curtain. Then it ran down the edge of the curtain. AND I SCREAMED. And ran out of the room, looking for a shoe. But then I came back in and it was GONE!

So I spent the rest of the weekend cringing any time I went in there, for fear that it would jump out at me. I didn't see it again until this morning, when it was lingering over the bathroom door frame, and I was all, "Great, now I'm trapped in the bathroom for the rest of my life." But I gathered my courage and ran out to get a shoe, then darted back in and squished it. It kept twitching. So I washed it down the garbage disposal.

I've decided that my fear of bugs isn't really a fear of bugs, it's a fear of bugs ON ME. I can look at bugs in terrariums, but I don't want them crawling on me. It's the uncertainty of whether the bug will try to get ON ME that really gets to me.

I found out today that it's called a "house centipede." From Wikipedia: "house centipedes are considered among the most beneficial creatures that inhabit human dwellings, but because of their alarming appearance, frightening speed, and painful bite, few homeowners are willing to share a home with them."

That's fucked up, right? Even Wikipedia thinks they're scary.

Look:

That is a friggin' scary-ass bug! They are not welcome here.

Gretchen & I saw "The Illusionist" on Friday, and now we both totally want to make out with Edward Norton. I'm sure Frank won't mind; Gretchen should put him on her list. It's a good movie. Everybody go see it. I also want to see the Christian Bale/Hugh Jackman old timey magician movie. BATMAN vs. WOLVERINE! I think Batman's going to win because Alfred is there too, plus Wolverine is a pussy in anything but X-Men movies.

So, weirdness: I came home from work on Thursday, and I had no tv and no internet. So I called Charter and had to sit through a super annoying automated tech support. It was a bunch of stuff that I knew wasn't wrong with my stuff, because it was all focused on the TV, which wouldn't account for the internet going out too. It sucked ASS. I was trying to be patient, but I just couldn't take it anymore once I heard the little virtu-bitch say, "Hmm. This is taking longer than it should. Are you sure you see a channel number or the correct time?" and when I said yes, she just said "okay" and we went back to waiting. Which is true, because I saw the channel number, but I didn't have the correct time, it still said 12:00 on the screen. Which is what makes it so annoying, I can't elaborate to explain.

I finally got a technician, who set me up with a service appointment. Then spontaneously, late on Friday night, it just all came back on its own. But the super-nice technician already set me up with a new cable package so I'm paying about $30 less each month for all the same stuff! Yay! Plus, now my internet is supposed to be 7 times faster.

Additional weirdness: I bought the first season of "My Name is Earl" on DVD at Wal-Mart. No, that's not the weirdness. I got it home, and as I was sliding it out of the case, I noticed that the spines of both of the inside cases both said "Disc 1 & 2". I thought it was weird that they would bother to label them if they were going to label them the same. But then I opened it up to find that I had Discs 1 & 2 & 1 & 2. Damn.

But Wal-Mart took it back. Although they insisted on opening the packaging before I could leave with the new one, since the one I brought in was open.

Jen & I have decided that we want to see BOTH Jeff Dunham shows. Provided they have an All Ages and a not All Ages show.

Some quotes to end off:

Do Snakes Have Hair?
They do when they're ferrets.
--Ethan Suplee & Timothy Olyphant, My Name is Earl

Sociopaths are good people to be around. They're fun.
--Dr. Drew, Loveline

When guys hit thirty the testosterone levels out and we turn back into human beings.
--Dr. Drew, Loveline